Shanghai - I'm back in China!

24th March 2009

Well, I'm back in China! This time to upmarket Shanghai teaching at the prestigious Tongji University, even though my campus (one of four) is relatively small and quiet.

My accommodation is a smallish one-bedroom apartment on the 28th floor of a newish-looking development area full of 32-storey apartment blocks. As is customary in China I have a large bedroom with a Mao-size bed (I think his measured 8' x 8') which would easily sleep three people (menage a trois!?); and, a very small kitchen and bathroom: fortunately it does have a western toilet. The complex (a small suburb) has gardens, playground and a small lake which I can see from my glassed-in sun room (facing South) - refer photos taken from the 28th floor. The complex is also very well guarded and patrolled... maybe that's not a very good sign: even my bedroom door has a lock, a latch and a bolt! Who am I supposed to be keeping out!

I was told the University was within walking distance of the apartment - that's if you enjoy walking for 30+ minutes in the Chinese weather. My solution was, again, to buy a bike (refer to "Steven" in the photos), even though not as good or as expensive as my Wuhan one - but I may only be here for 4 months.

My trial run to the University last Sunday was approx 15 minutes door-to-door. At least I am surrounded by all the amenities that I need: 10 min to the very efficient Metro railway station; a market, supermarkets and department stores; best of all many restaurants, including my favourite restaurant/canteen next door to the complex. It suits me perfectly in that all the food is on display, they have small servings which means I can select a variety of dishes and it is frequented by couples and singles (no tables for six and eight).

As I have had to take over from a teacher who had left after one month into the semester I managed to survive last week. However, the teaching hours are short (3 hours per each of 5 days - 3 mornings and two afternoons).

Haven't seen much Chinglish at this stage except for one ATM bank with the sign "Self Serving Bank" - perhaps the Australian banks should adopt that motto! The traffic is a bit more orderly than in Wuhan (more police presence) but you still risk your life crossing the streets (regardless of a pedestrian crossing with an accompanying green walk light!). Around my area, the major roads have a special side road for bikes, scooters and motorbikes, however, they are just as congested and dangerous as the car lanes, although I have managed to pass one or two scooters on my one-day outing.

Incidentally, for you Telstra EDSers, China has just launched its 3G network: China Telecom alone, the largest of the 3 providers, is trying to convice its 250M customers to switch from 2G - could Flexcab/Kenan handle that volume?

Until next report... Shanghaied Renzo

Wuhan - Farewell

18th January 2009

Well guys, sadly this is the end of my Wuhan, China journey. There have been many farewell lunches and dinners... and more to come. I had hoped to lose some weight in China but, alas, the food is so cheap and too yummy to knock back...

Three photos are attached:

1. A Xmas dinner put on by an Australian teacher (from the right): Lynne (the host), John (the American) with his Chinese wife (Ting), me, and 3 teachers from Singapore. As an aside, Ting also means 'stop' in Chinese, so I can imagine the confusion when John is making love to his wife and sighing "Ting, oh Ting"!
2. John and I eyeing off the turkey.
3. My best friend (Sharon) and I on my birthday outing, at the Yellow Crane Tower. This is a YouCam photo of a photo we had taken (I am still cameraless!)

I had a great birthday: I was taken to a popular street-food place where there were dozens of small shops and stalls selling an incredible variety of flavoursome and delectable food from which to choose (good pickings when guided by a Chinese person); then a visit to the Yellow Crane Tower which "is one of the most renowned towers south of the Yangtze River. Its cultural significance led to its being made the symbol of Wuhan City"; finally, dinner at the revolving restaurant of the 400-metre tall tower next to the Yangtze River, with spectacular views of Wuhan at night.

My efforts now are devoted towards making 37kg of luggage appear to be the 27kg capacity which I am allowed on my flight home! I have investigated all possible means of alternative transport but all are too expensive - even China Post charges the equivalent of AUD$33 per kilo! I may need to find someone travelling on the same flight who is travelling light!

My other efforts are dedicated to looking for another teaching position. Wuhan University has no work for their permanent English teachers in the next semester, let alone pay for a foreign teacher. However, the Dean has given me an open invitation to rejoin them in the second semester when they will have completed their contract with a new Australian sister university (Curtin University in Western Australia). I have had two job offers to teach in Dalian, a very touristic part of China... but it's to teach 10-12 year-old children! However, I do have a phone interview next week with a private school to teach small classes of 17-45 year-old students (including business people); this too, according to my Chinese friends, is in a very attractive part of China, namely, Hangzhou which is approx a 90-minute bus ride to Shanghai. I am hoping that they will overlook my teaching inexperience and judge me on my professionalism and content of my character.

I have also thought of going to Japan for a teaching job: after seeing a very funny video clip on YouTube I could always become a PPP (Professional Peope Pusher) if a teaching job is not available - refer attached hilarious video clip. Other irons I have in the fire include teaching jobs in beautiful northern Italy where Ferraris and Ducatis are manufactured: I would love to go motoring through the Italian Alps in a Ferrari or, preferably, on a Ducati ST3... at least I can dream about it!

Finally, my "Neurotic Nurse': after a serious of cancellations and miscommunications (her English is very poor and my Chinese is non existent) I apparently left her standing at the hospital gate for 2 hours, waiting for me to arrive; she had said she would call me at 8pm and when that didn't happen I gave up on her. Problem was she was expecting me to pick her up at 8pm and when she tried to call me soon after, my SIM card had run out of money! She eventually contacted me on the QQ internet system at 10:30pm asking why I stood her up! After many apologies on my part she insisted on still seeing me (she must have had a bet with her nursing friends!), so we agreed to meet at my school gate. As she had not had dinner and all restaurants close at 9pm (apart from McDonalds) she came back to my place, where I fixed up a snack for her. We watched half a movie until 12:30am at which time she announced she had to leave, as her hospital shift was due to commence at 1:00am - a most uneventful encounter...

Well, that's it from me until I can land another job and another adventure. I am looking forward to catching up with you, as well as many of my Chinese students (some of whom I failed a week ago) who are already in Melbourne to continue their studies at RMIT.

Happy Chinese New Year to all... Renzo the Red and Nosey Emperor

Wuhan - New Year A Non-Event

6th January 2009

Well, we never got any snow at Xmas - New Year but I'm told there's still a chance...

New Year was a non-event in Wuhan even though a number of Chinese friends and acquaintences sent me greetings (even an SMS at midnight when I was asleep, recovering from the previous week).

On Xmas eve my atheist friend, Sharon, and her girlfriend took me to a Christian Church where I was "forced" to pray. She then carried out some bizarre Chinese Xmas ritual where she approached total strangers asking them to donate one only of the smallest monetary coin (1/10th of one yuan), until she had collected 24 of them; she then shopped for an apple which had to cost exactly 2.4 yuan, after which she presented it to me with the message that when I eat it, whatever wish I make will come true - it was a truly magic apple...

At the famed Jiang Han Road shopping walkways and shops the enormous crowd shuffled shoulder to shoulder, from Xmas midnight, taking advantage of the many 50% discounts on offer. After 2.5 hours of window shopping we headed home with the total purchase, between the three of us, of one solitary apple!

I've found that the average-quality clothes are cheaper to buy here than in Australia, but the high-quality, good brands are much more expensive e.g. good woollen jumpers cost between 2,000 and 3,500 yuan (~ $400 and $700) before a discount; moreover, goods are cheaper in Wuhan than in Shanghai and Beijing! However, Xmas cards cost 1.5 yuan (25 cents) and for 12 yuan ($2.40) I just bought a 3-DVD pack of block-buster movies containing (according to the cover) "In the History 20 Greatly Most Look at the Movie".

Stop the Press: It's 11pm Monday the 5th of January, as I am writing, and it's SNOWING!!

The other exhausting event for me was trying to prepare for the end-of-year school concert. I went to a rehearsal 2 hours before the performance was due to start, with around 50 spectators watching, and soon found out I would die a slow death, in front of a 200+ audience, if I went on with it - so I pulled out 1 hour before show time. The whole thing was mismanaged for me and although it was obvious to me (and I had said so on a number of occasions), the young student organiser who had asked me to perform had insisted on me doing it - I finally convinced her at the 11th hour (after I was on the printed program and expected to perform my customised "Shaddap You Face" routine!).

Tomorrow is my last official class at WUST, even though the semester ends on Jan 17th. We've had visitors from overseas universities visit the school, including the President (aka Dean) of the Singapore University who happened to drop in on my class (refer photos):

1. The President addressing the class
2. Group photo with the school's teachers (me in patriotic red)
3. Me doing an impression of the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

Oh, remember my "Neurotic Nurse", well we're finally going to get together for dinner next Saturday, after that unusual meeting in the park some 3 months ago...


Regards for now... Renzo

Wuhan - Almost to Christmas Day

21st December 2008

It's almost Xmas in Wuhan and things (celebrations) are hotting up, except for the weather: tomorrow's forecast is for a high of 3 degrees and a low of -3.

Yesterday the Foreign Affairs Office of Hubei Provincial People's Government and Hubei Provincial Foreign Experts Bureau (or FAOHPPG & HPFEB for short!?) put on a "Sound of Spring" Christmas Concert for Foreign Experts. Since I was invited I guess I must be a "Foreign Expert"! The concert was very entertaining: it included a Beijing opera of the Monkey King, classical music, an excellent soprano singer aptly named Song Lu, an ensemble of Chinese instruments, amazing acrobatics and a choir who opened the concert with Jingle Bells and closed with Auld Lang Syme. Why a Spring concert in December and a Spring Festival to follow in January (both held in Winter) is something I still have to fathom out!

The university has planned three concerts of their own in the next 10 days where some teachers have been asked to perform. As the only full-time foreign teacher on campus I am expected to perform!!?? As I cannot sing, dance, play an instrument, nor juggle I'm stuck for ideas! The only thing that's come to mind is to explain and talk in Italian Pidgin English (which I can do) and do a variation of Joe Dolce's "Shuddap You Face" song... not looking forward to it...

Students are lining up to "take me shopping" as apparently there are great bargains to be had, as Xmas approaches. Tomorrow I'll be rugging up to revist Jiang Han Road shopping area with two others students; on Xmas eve my favourite student is taking me to a church to be followed by a midnight-start shopping spree. On Xmas day an Australian teacher is putting on a dinner for a number of Westerners. If I'm still here on January 26th I can witness Chinese New Year celebrations, where I'm told "red envelopes" are customary - fortunately a dollar goes a long way in Wuhan!

Pictured is my favourite student and now good friend (Sharon) who, with the help of her mother's cooking, looked after me when I was not well. As I was later invited for dinner at their place I naturally bought flowers and chocolates for her mother - you should have seen the curious looks we got on the bus as I sat there next to this young lady, carrying this big bunch of roses and lilies. What do you think of us making the cover of MAC HOME magazine?

I'm told that snow in Wuhan is a possibilty... I'll look forward to it. However, another month and I'll be back in sunny Australia...
Until the next report... Regards to all... Renzo

Wuhan - Pre-Christmas

5th December 2008

Pre-Xmas report from China:

As an atheist country you would think that China would not celebrate Christ-mas but in fact they do... well, at least the shopkeepers do. Christmas here is solely a time for people (mostly young couples) to spend Xmas Day shopping for gifts. Hence, it's a time for shopkeepers to pray... er, I mean prey... on their customers.

I felt flattered when I had a couple of offers by female students to spend the day shopping with them but... uhm... I wonder what they want? Perhaps it's payback time for all the nice things they have done for me!? The Spring Festival (late January next year) is China's most important celebration - when families get together (as we do on Xmas day in Australia). I wonder if I'll get any invitations then...!

Two of my ex-students took me shopping for winter clothes at the well-known, and extremely busy, Jiang Han Road shopping area last weekend where they patiently scoured many mens' stores with me. It was fascinating to watch these two "terriers" barking at the heels of the shop assistants, trying to get the best deal for me. As a reward I took the ladies for a "luxury" lunch at an an expensive restaurant called "Pizza Hut". The large pizza we shared was good, the garlic bread was fair, the 6 cappuccini (cappuccinos to the uneducated!?) hardly had any coffee in them, and the tiramisu were very small and straight out of the freezer - they had no resemblance to what I know to be the real thing; a good Chinese meal for three may set you back 100 yuan - the Pizza Hut bill was 306 yuan! However, this cost was somewhat offset by returning part of the way home by Yangtse river transport at a cost of 1 yuan each!

Remember the nurse whom I had met in the park, some weeks back, where I swapped my roasted chestnuts for her banana? Well, she has resurfaced on QQ (China's internet messaging system): she recently QQed me to tell me that she now has a boyfriend and "misses me very much"!?!? When I enquired as to what he was like she said she didn't know because she was going to meet him for the first time next week!? Apparently he is a soldier whom she met on QQ and is coming to Wuhan on furlough. I have now dubbed her "My Neurotic Nurse" - stay tuned...

Staying with the female theme I have attached YouCam photos of some girls I've had in my bedroom..... only because that is where I have strategically placed my laptop!

Finally, just to cool off the male recipients of this report, tomorrow's temperature forecast is a high of 7 degrees and a low of -2.

Enjoy your summer... Renzo

Wuhan - Trending Towards Winter

25th November 2008

Emperor Nosey reporting for the last time on EDS email:

It's getting colder and colder in Wuhan: last week a 4 consecutive-day forecast high was 19, 17, 15, 13 - a definite trend and it's not even winter yet! The change in the weather certainly took me by surprise. My preparatory purchases of a heater, electric blanket and a warm jacket came too late, resulting in me coming down with a nasty cough and sore throat followed by a slight fever and a runny nose - with the size of my hooter I'm getting through loads of tissues.

Fortunately, I have some caring ex-students who are looking after me: the occasional cooked meal (with exquisite tastes), taking me to the pharmacist and providing me with their own herbal brew for a quick fix. Not to disappoint any of them I have tried a myriad of concoctions ranging from the very bland to brews a fire-eater would wince at. I hope they don't kill me with kindness. On Saturday one of my favourite students travelled 40 minutes on a bus, carrying her mother's cooked meal, to bring it to me - it's not hard to grow fond of such individuals.

Attached are some photos:

1. An out-of-focus shot of last month's class of 16 students: my main 4 "student carers" being the 3rd to 6th ladies (from the left). Incidentally, who said that Chinese guys are short!?
2. A view from my apartment as I look at the lounge-room window............................... I said 'at', not 'out' (it's my window blind!)
3. True view from my bedroom window, where I can see some greenery and birds chirping. The room has become my study, entertainment (PC) area and dining room as it has a wall heater.
4. Me, in my pajamas, trying on my newly-acquired winter gear.

I'll now stay on until the end of the semester (early January). After 42 years in I.T. (half of those years with EDS) and now that I am free from the shackles of that industry, I'll be weighing up my English-teaching options for next year.

On that note I'd like to thank all those colleagues with whom I have argued, annoyed, laughed with and shown mutual respect. It's been quite a long, tiring, exciting and satisfying expedition of discovery. I'll always be reminded of one of EDS' wall pictures of a couple getting onto a boat on a lake, with a slogan which went something like "It's not the destination that counts - it's the journey" - I hope to continue that journey in a different field (or should I say 'lake').

Good luck to one and all for the future.


Regards... Renzo

Yangtse River - Three Gorges

10th November 2008

Emperor Renzo reporting:

As you will see from the photos I have now been promoted to Emperor of China and we are about to enter a new dynasty: an early one was called the Qin (pronounced 'Chin') dynasty - mine will henceforth be appropriately known as the Nosey dynasty. Although I am not in a position to match the 20,000-odd concubines who were at the disposal of the more recent Qing emperor, I do have several young university lady students who are at least prepared to cook Chinese tucker for me.

Last week I spent several glorious days on a "Three Gorges" tour up the Yangtse river. The boat was a 5-star luxury ship with a capacity of 206 passengers and 110 crew and staff, yet the number of passengers was just 47!: one Aussie (me), a group of 5 Chinese and 41 Americans.

You can imagine we were spoilt rotten: not only did I not have to share a cabin and private deck with anyone but one night, when another ship docked on my side of the boat with its engine running, I complained that I couldn't sleep - their solution was simply to provide me another cabin for the night on the other side of the ship. Whenever I left my cabin (several times per day) the bed was made, towels replaced and fresh drinks placed in the fridge.

The entrances to each of the three Gorges were quite spectacular. On the third day we boarded a smaller boat to visit the "Lesser Gorges" and finally into a Sandpan which took us up the even-smaller "Mini Gorges". Whilst all the gorges were gorgeous (excuse the pun), by the end of the day we were all gorged out; the solution was to return to the ship to gorge ourselves on the sumptious evening dinner.

The water level is now only 3 metres short of its maximum height of 175 metres above sea level. We also had an extensive tour of the now-completed dam - the largest in the world size wise but not electricity-capacity wise.

As every night they showed a special movie I mentioned to the cruise director (Ernie Kemm) that I had seen a movie documentary called "Up the Yangtse" just before leaving Australia. As I was explaining what the documentary was about he said "yes I know, I and Campbell Hur (the main on-board guide) were in the movie!" Apparently the movie was filmed on our boat's sister ship the "Anna". He then went on to tell me what became of the young Chinese girl whose very poor family had been displaced by the rising waters of the Yangtse river. Mind you, from what I saw most of the people were simply accommodated further up the mountains with what I would call spectacular million-dollar views (OK as a remote holiday house for the rich, but not for poor working families).

With all the American's on board, and more televisions than passengers, there was a lot of interest in the U.S. elections. I had a semi-heated discussion with one lady who took offense at my statement of "from a distance, I couldn't understand how the American people came to re-elect Bush for a second term!" Fortunately a lady psychologist, of an American couple whom I had earlier befriended, came to my rescue with a personal scathing attack (in her view) of the Bush administration. With such a small group of people I had the opportunity to mix with each and every one of them: at the end of the tour it was nice to have the aformentioned lady ask for my email address in order to stay in touch.

There was lots of entertainment on board as well as many interesting talks. The ship's doctor gave a talk and demonstration on four pressure points to relieve stomach & tooth aches, headache/migrane, neck and shoulders, and insomnia - I'll never have to go to a doctor, dentist or physio ever again!? He also explained and demonstrated the science of accupuncture. I took the opportunity to try it myself (at a cost of $55) for my neck and shoulders - next time I think I'll apply the free pressure-point method! One evening was spent learning how to play Mahjong - having won 2 of the 3 games played I am now shopping around for a set to bring back to Australia.

The trip ended in Chongqing where there was a personal guide waiting for me.

The sights visited were the local zoo where I saw two Pandas munching on bamboo; a silk production demonstration; and a traditional tea house where the protocol of tea drinking was demonstrated. I was put up at a plush hotel (for a mere $60) where my guide told them I was a VIP and had to be well looked after. I was consequently accommodated in room 2008 (a significant year for the Chinese) with a view of the river and the city skyline.

However, the service went too far when right on midnight, when I was asleep, the phone rang with a sweet lady's voice asking if I desired a massage! Although I was half asleep I suspected that the $60 would not cover what I was now suspecting to be what the Chinese term a "happy massage".

So, to confirm my suspicion I asked how much that would cost, to which she replied 800 yuan (almost $180). I kindly declined at which point she softly said call be in room 2005 (which must have been across the hallway) if you change your mind. I went back to sleep wondering what she looked like and trying to work out the dollar conversion rate of 800 yuan - I was comforted in the knowledge that it would buy me 80 1kg bags of roasted chestnuts that I could enjoy back at the local Wuhan park.

Until next time, this is your Nosey Emperor signing off.

.

Wuhan - Temperature Down, Humidity Up

24th October 2008

Whilst the temperature in Wuhan is dropping noticeably, unfortunately the humidity is not: the other day it was 22 degrees and raining but the humidity was 100%! I've joined the locals and now ride my bike while holding an umbrella.

I had an interesting experience the other Sunday at the local park. A respectable-looking 28 y.o. Chinese lady nurse came up to me wanting to speak English. Although she spoke broken English we managed to get through quite a conversation, including finding out that she was not married nor did she have a boyfriend. To make the story short:

• I was sitting on a bench with a bag of roasted chestnuts between my legs
• Although I offered her some, she refused but insisted I take one of her two bananas she was carrying!
• We swapped some short language lessons where she taught me how to say "I love you" in Chinese
• She asked for my mobile number and said she was due to start her shift at the hospital
• She appeared all excited at such a venture and asked if she could give me a hug (who said Chinese ladies were shy and conservative?).

However, over a week has passed and no call - oh well, at least she didn't have an ulterior motive...
The value of the Australian dollar has dropped 50% against the Yuan in the last 3 months. Even so, some things are still comparatively cheap: I bought some more DVDs and for 8Y (under $2) I got a Blu-ray disc with 8 full-length movies on it. That was also the cost of my first haircut in China.

The 25th of October was the 110th anniversary of the university. The first photo was taken in one of the classrooms:

• First photo is me in a role play with my Chinese English teacher "minder" + 3 other English teachers (the male being an American who married a Chinese lady and is now living in China) - No, I won't be following suit!
• The second photo is a performance of the "Ringing of the Bells" at the Hubei Imperial Museum

I visited a teacher who is living on the university campus and although the exterior is slightly cleaner than my surroundings, the interior looked distinctly inferior to mine (especially as it is accommodating a couple, their baby and mother-in-law) - I'm now starting to feel that my spacious apartment isn't so bad after all.

In early November I am planning to tour the Three Gorges Dam in Yichang and then cruise upstream on the Yangtse river onto Chingqang. If my camera arrives from Australia in time I will send some photos.


Until next report... Renzo