My Final Report On My Life In China

6th May 2014

By my count, this is my 42th report. While the super computer in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy determined that the number 42 was the answer to the meaning of life, to me it signifies my final report on my life in China. After almost six years the time has come to return home.

It's been a great adventure for me, from my start in hot and humid Wuhan where I made some great friends, to exciting Shanghai, followed by Fuzhou where for 12 months I experienced the traffic chaos first-hand on my Harley-style speedy e-bike, and finally to the pleasant coastal city of Dalian where the weather, accommodation, school and people seduced me to stay for almost four years.

The last few months have been interesting:

• returned to Wuhan on 2 occasions: caught up with WUST teachers

• spent a few days in Beijing examining and dining

• went back to Australia for a few weeks of R and R

• attended lots of dinner farewells in Dalian in last few weeks

• sold, gave away, ditched, and packed the many things I had accumulated over the years. Said goodbye to my comfortable apartment with great night views

So, what's in store for me back in Melbourne?

Well, my plan is to refurbish my Southbank apartment, which is now 20 years old, and try to get some private IELTS tutoring work to keep me interested. I'm also looking forward to getting a more modern car to replace my 17yo BMW M3 - is anyone interested in purchasing a well-kept, low mileage classic BMW driven by an elderly gentleman?

I hope to catch up with some of the many Chinese students scattered around Melbourne, and some I.T. colleagues from my past life.

I hope you have been entertained by these reports as much as I have enjoyed writing them.

Goodbye and Zai jian to all... Renzo

Dalian - IELTS Private Tuition

2nd December 2013

Well, every day this week has produced the usual Dalian weather for this time of year: cold but blue sky and sunny - except for Tuesday when we had the first snow for the winter!

As my apartment is on the 27th floor and facing South, I have designated a small corner of my small apartment as my one-square-metre sun room.

A month ago a friend from Melbourne came for a short visit, just avoiding the onset of the cold, blustery winds which are common here. I wanted to take him on a bus tour of the popular Xinghai Square and Binhai Road (along the scenic beach road), only to find that the tours don't run as it approaches winter; however, we did make our way to Xinghai Square where we saw the newly-finished castle hotel, and later lunched at my favourite restaurant: Lenbach Beer House by the sea.

As for myself, I've rather enjoyed the freedom of not teaching, even though I have been IELTS examining most weekends in Dalian, Shenyang, Changchun, and Qingdao. This weekend I am scheduled to go to Wuhan, where my China journey commenced in 2008. I'm really looking forward to meeting up with some friends, my old university, and seeing for myself how much the city has developed.

I have also kept myself busy preparing and delivering two presentations to students at the university where I have taught for the past three years: one on IELTS Speaking and the other on Writing (where most students are still struggling). The presentations were well attended and received.

Although I have made myself available for paid private tuition, only two students have taken up the offer to date. After spending an hour (free) with a student on Speaking she then got a band 6.5, however, her Writing was only a band 5. (Note that students must get a band 6 in each of the four English skills in order to be eligible to continue their studies in Australia). Subsequently, I tutored her for 2 hours re Writing and improved her score to 5.5. I'm now working on getting her to the elusive band 6. The other student had also previously received a Writing band 5: after two hours tutoring she jumped from a 5 to a 6. She's over the moon as she is now eligible to go to Australia: I think a good combination of my tutoring and her hard work. We celebrated at the aforementioned Lenbach restaurant.

I'm now socialising less with students and more with my IELTS examiner colleagues, even to the extent of taking up regular squash games again, after a 25-year break! Happy to report that the body is still holding up, and of the five regular players I'm currently number 2. Admittedly, it's not of a high standard but the others are half my age!

Recently the British Council held an IELTS conference in Beijing where I caught up with some former colleagues, including a Chinese examiner friend who was raised in Australia and has returned to China. She has met her Chinese future husband, and is going back to Sydney for her wedding in January! Refer the stunning "figure 8" photo she sent via WeChat.

At the conference, examiners swapped a number of yarns, two rather amusing ones being:

• One examiner gave a candidate the Speaking task 2 topic: "Which place, in a country other than your own, would you like to visit and why?" After the permitted one-minute preparation time, the candidate had decided that she would like to holiday in Phuket, so she replied "The country I want to go to is Thailand, to f_ _k it".
• I have given the same topic to a candidate who enthusiastically said: "Pizza - I want to go to Italy to see pizza!". At first I thought he would be talking off topic, but then he went on to say: "Many people think that pizza is leaning at an angle to the ground (signifying with his finger) but in fact it's shaped like a banana - not many people know that!". It was then I realised he was on topic and was actually describing the Leaning Tower of Pisa - to an Italian who has been to Pisa on more than one occasion!

Well, I've decided I will see my visa out to June of next year, after which I will most likely "pull up stumps". However, I will be returning to Melbourne soon for a few weeks of summer weather: visiting family, friends, and my Chinese students who may not be returning home for the Spring Festival.

Until next report... 'almost Red' Renzo

Dalian - IELTS Examining

10th December 2012

My last words in the previous report were "here (Dalian) it's much drier and more comfortable" than the steamy south of China. Well, five months later it's even drier (clothes dry in a few hours in Winter!). Last Thursday I watched snow fall in bucket loads, yet the next day I walked across the road to my school (on fresh snow), under a clear blue sky and a weak sun. My landlord came to collect rental for the next 3 months while presenting me with a bill for the past five months' electricity (376 rmb = $58!) and a year's broadband subscription (870 rmb = $134) - is it any wonder I've stayed here for so many years.

Australia has made the news here: while all the weather reports on TV are about the freeze in the north (Inner Mongolia at minus 50 degrees), they reported that Falls Creek has had snow, in summer!?

This weekend was my 4th straight weekend of examining IELTS students wanting to study overseas - there's no rest for the wicked. While it can get quite boring after a while, I do get a few laughs (not to their face) from those candidates who tell me such things as: they want to "study aboard"; or, going to university allows them to "learn more knowledge"; or, "after a hard day studying I like to go to my bedroom to relax myself" - I dare not ask them how they do that!; or, how some "smell" (not "smile") a lot when talking to their friends; or, which "closez" (instead of "clothes") they like to wear; and, the word that most students mispronounce (including some Chinese English teachers) is "urally" instead of "usually". At school, one of the most common pronunciation mistakes is when a word ends in a consonant and the next one starts with a consonant e.g. "in the past year" is often pronounced "in the pasta year", to which I jokingly reply "I had pasta for dinner last night".

I do try to be humorous with my students, while expecting high standards and maintaining fairly strict discipline. Just last week I heard that many students had entered a school writing competition, unbeknownst to the foreign teachers, where they were asked to write about a foreign teacher they have had in the past. I managed to get hold of a couple of the essays about me which I found very interesting and funny. The following is an extract of what one male student wrote:

"To think about Renzo, a word strikes my brain---punctilious. He has a white hair with a handsome face; a big hooknose is his symbol. I have to say that he is one of the most respective teachers I admire. Renzo was born in Italy; study in Britain when he was young; grown up in Australia and be a teacher in China now. He likes to travel to different places and experience different things. I’m afraid to say he is a kind of adventurer. He always have a serious attitude to everything, I am quite confusions why an Australian has a German’s strict attitude....... Finally, I certainly admire Renzo from the bottom of my heart. I think I should study as hard as I can".

And a rather touching extract from a female student:

"In my second academic year, I met Remzo, who was born in Italy and lived in Australia, he is very friendly and kind. When having classes, Remzo always smiles and tries his best to speak words clearly. What is more, he often awards us with little koala and kangaroo toys brought from Australia. To encourage our enthusiasm, he gives chocolate and other snacks to us.
In my opinion, he is not only a good teacher but also a great person. I was not good at speaking and I felt nervous when I spoke to somebody.But since I met Remzo, I tried to speak to him, no matter in class or after class,maybe that is the time I decided to learn IELTS and prepared to go abroad. Remzo makes me get to know western life and I also fall in love with the free life style, I cannot wait to go to Australia and feel the mysterious things.

Although he just teaches me for one year, I want to be his forever friends. His honesty, enthusiasm and friendly impresses me a lot, I will value the time that I spend with him. I will try to improve my English and I hope that after two years I can meet him again in his beautiful hometown".

Perhaps I can use these as references for my next job (ha ha).

I have now booked my flight back to Australia, arriving on Jan 11. I have another 6 months to run on my contract in China, which I will probably honour, despite a number of changes to the curriculum and management staff - neither of which have appealed to me. I still don't know what management will want me to teach next semester. A number of factors, especially age, are pointing to the fact that my tenure in China is coming to an end. That doesn't worry me as I will have spent 5 interesting and good years in China. Back in Melbourne I may have to reinvent myself for the third time, even though I may seek some part-time teaching (if age is not an issue, as it is in China), and I'll certainly chase International English Language Testing System (IELTS) work as I now have some experience in that area. Attached is a photo of me during an IELTS weekend when I happened to have scored the Communist Party Secretary's office, at the university where examinations are held.

Also attached is a hilarious clip (12.7MB) I have used at school to highlight different English accents - this is about two Scotsmen in a voice recognition lift - I've screened it many times and I crack up over it every time. {Sorry! unable to load video clip}

Of some interest to me, come next July, is that many of my Dalian students whom I have now known for 3 years will be arriving in Melbourne to continue their studies at LaTrobe University. I'll enjoy showing them around my hometown.

Well, it's almost the end of this semester and I look forward to catching up with family and friends - I hope some of my past students are still there. I wish everyone a very happy festive season, whether it be Christmas or Spring Festival, or both (ha ha).

Bye for now... Renzo

Dalian - Where Did The Year Go?

2nd June 2012

I notice that my last report was June 2011... whoa! A year has passed very quickly.

Having already spent two years in Dalian I look like signing up for a third year... so much for moving around China!

With my Melbourne apartment leased out and a cold Melbourne looming there's no point in returning during the Jul/Aug school break. So, the only definite plan I have is a one-week trip to Japan in early July. After that, maybe some touring around the south/west of China.

Having almost completed teaching two semesters with the second-year uni students, I look forward to less preparatory work for a repeat of the same program for the next school year. To compensate for the reduced work, and to keep my workaholic tag alive, I have now been trained to be an International English Language Teacher Testing System (IELTS) Examiner: means I can grade the speaking English level of anyone ( mainly students) wanting to continue their studies abroad. It's a good gig as I can choose which weekends to work and it pays well. I can even nominate to examine in other cities in China, all expenses paid. Although it may sound inviting, it would mean getting up early on a Saturday morning and returning late Sunday - and no time to explore the city of my destination. I think I'll be sticking to examining in Dalian for a while.

I can't believe that I can't find a photo taken of myself in the past year - a definite sign that things are getting boring here and a change is due soon. I have applied for a teaching position in Italy, but experience tells me that I probably won't even get an acknowledgement of my application: an Italian-speaking Aussie carrying an EU passport and tons of teaching experience - what more do they want!? (ha ha). Maybe I'm demanding too much when I ask for a package containing a Ferrari and a Ducati.

Dalian - Signed Up For Another Year

6th June 2011

Well, I certainly have slackened off with my China reports! Not sure why, but maybe because things here are no longer new and as exciting as they were three years ago.

Since my last report in January I had returned to Melbourne for a visit last summer and I have now been back in Dalian for four months. It looks like I'll be here a while longer, as I have signed a contract for the 2011-12 school year. I'm told that we have hired a very experienced American lady, in her very early 60s, for the next school year: she will take over my spot (teaching freshmen) while I replace an Australian lady (teaching year 2 students) who is returning to Australia. The funny thing is that I and another Australian will be teaching from a British business-oriented book while two Americans will now be teaching an Australian program, full of Aussie information and stories, idioms and Australian slang!

I sought the year 2 teaching position in the hope that it may mean less work for me, on the basis that:

• I will have comprehensive English-teaching text books, rather than foraging for interesting material to support the vague learning-guideline book of year 1
• The students' English will be a bit more advanced
• The lessons will be more business oriented

I'll have the same students as this year: advantage is that I know them all; the downer is that I really enjoy meeting new students.

This year the students held a school concert, totally in English, and there's some great talent amongst them:

• the six students who hosted the concert
• me with one of the hosts, Melon
• my favourite group - Cherry, Holly, Jessie, Bella: 2 weeks into the semester, Cherry came to me and said "we'd like to play with you"! In Chinese student speak that means "we'd like to socialise with you".
• Cherry and Nelly are super dancers
• In preparation for another year here I have invested in a good bicycle, as well as an e-bike. The latter not as good as the great e-bike I had in Fuzhou (e-bikes are not popular in Dalian).

My Chinese calendar tells me that today is the 5th day of the 5th lunar month, otherwise known as Dragon Boat Festival day - although it has a long history in China it's becoming an emerging competitive global sport akin to canoe racing. As far as I know there's no great celebrations taking place here in Dalian, so for me it's a catch-up day for marking test papers and preparing to set exam questions. Don't let anyone tell you that teaching is an easy job, even though I may take it more seriously than some of my fellow teachers.

Weather wise, Dalian is getting warmer (mid to high 20s), but there's usually a breeze and it's not too humid - I love it. Last week the school took the teachers on a trip to Golden Pebble Beach in Dalian:

• Some teachers and administrators
• Program Director and a rather young Vice Dean (on my left)

As the school year ends on July 8, I'm hoping to do some travelling around China (Beijing, Xian, ??) and not visiting home this time. I'm looking for suggestions from my students and maybe an invitation to their hometowns?

Hope all is well with everyone. Until next time... Renzo

Dalian - Happy New Year

16th January 2011

Happy New Year / Happy Spring Festival,

The last 3 weeks have been very busy with tests, revisions and exams - followed by the task of marking 100 test and 100 exam papers in 3 days! As always the humdrum of reading so many similar papers, this time about something Australian, has had its light relief:

• My favourite was a description of Australia's, indeed the world's, deadliest snake: the Inland Taipan - it read "The Inland Taipan is the most venomous snack in the world". Well, I could hardly mark him down for that, because he's probably correct!
• Another was about Australia's Crocodile Hunter - it said "Steve Irwin's family were related to reptiles".
• Finally, a good example of Chinglish translation was about Lleyton Hewitt's romantic relationship with Kim Clijsters: "The end of a love relationship can be completed in the flames of calcium carbide".

Note that I do not laugh at these students but with them, once I have explained their error.

Weather report: although we didn't have a White Christmas, I continue to be very impressed with the weather in Dalian. Even though we've only had 2 days of snow so far, and the temperature is often below zero, almost every day there is bright sunshine. Feeling cosy inside my warm apartment, this has been one of the few winters where I haven't come down with a nasty cold or cough.

On Christmas eve, the teachers threw a party for the 200-odd students who attended. Santa Claus (aka the head teacher in the red and black striped shirt in the Xmas-lunch photos) is an excellent pianist, and the only female teacher is a talented singer. My contribution was to explain a typical Western Xmas, followed by two pertinent Christmas cartoons (MIckey Mouse, Pluto and the Chipmonks + Tom and Jerry) which the students thoroughly enjoyed. The following day, teachers, staff and friends had a Western-style Xmas lunch at a 5-star hotel (refer photos): sad to say that the beautiful young lady cuddling up to me belongs to the tall, young American teacher, who is my friend and colleague.

Possibly my highlight in Dalian was to have attended an invitation-only classical concert by the Berlin Philarmonic Orchestra, courtesy of my contact. The first night was for the Mayor of Dalian and other dignatories; the second, which I attended, was for staff and family of the orchestra's sponsor "China Construction Bank" - my only real connection was that I bank with them! Apart from being a world-renowned orchestra, the enjoyment was in listening to them perform 14 popular pieces from a variety of composers.

Well, I am now preparing to go back to Melbourne for my regular half-yearly visit. Unfortunately, it's a sad time for all Australians due to the devastating floods in Queensland: I hope the rest of the world responds to their plight in a similar way that Australians generously gave to the Sichuan earthquake of 2008.

For all you guys in Melbourne I hope to catch up with you soon; for those in China, have a happy and enjoyable Spring Festival.

Renzo

PS: After more than 2 years of these chronicles, and an ever-increasing distribution list, it's probably time to determine who is still interested in receiving these reports.
Hence, please reply with a simple YES (to keep receiving them) or a NO. I will assume a non-response to mean NO.

Dalian - Merry Christmas

23rd December 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone,

Well, the dreaded cold has arrived in Dalian: ten days ago it snowed for the first time this winter. While the snowfall only lasted one day, it was quite a dump - the streets were covered with snow for days to come. Since then the days have been very cold, yet the sun has been out most days. It's very reminiscent of those beautiful sunny days skiing at Mt Buller - I'm rather enjoying it!

The teachers have been busy buying Xmas decorations in order to organise a Christmas party for the students. After doing some shopping myself by buying a small Xmas tree, complete with lights and decorations for the princely sum of 30 yuan ($4.60), my excitement was somewhat soured when I found that someone had decided to steal my bike which I had chained to a steel fence! I guess that was their way of getting a Xmas bargain! Oh well, I don't want to ride a bike in the snow anyway.

On a happier note, the teachers have befriended a Chinese accountant lady who works in Dalian's performing arts centre. She can get us into most performances for free, if the tickets are not sold out. I have been to one (international acrobats) and had to pass on two others (Russian Ballet and Spanish Dancing) because of my work load! I hope to catch the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra on Dec 28.

The work load has not abated, especially as we are into the test and exam time of the semester. However, there's always a lighter side to the drudgery of having to mark a heap of test papers. For example, as I am reading students' case studies on Australia:

• One student said that a Sydney restaurant served delicious seafood such as shrimps, oysters, lobster and crap.
• Another student researching Nicole Kidman said that the movie which won her an academy award was called "The Times". Not having heard of that movie I looked up Google only to find that the movie was in fact called "The Hours". I have to keep reminding them not to look up a Chinese website and then getting an automatic translation into English - it invariably ends up being Chinglish!

With only just over two weeks to go, the semester has gone very fast. Although school officially finishes on Jan 10, I will keep my return flight booking for Jan 20.

To all my friends and acquaintances: have an enjoyable and relaxing Christmas and New Year. To those of you in Australia, I hope to see you soon...

Find attached:

• First sign of snow: the school taken from my 27th-floor apartment window.
• Photo (x10 zoom) of the lit-up shopping centre in the distance.

Ho, ho, ho... Renzo

Dalian - Hello from Beautiful Dalian

18th November 2010

Yes, I am still alive and working in China. After a couple of months here, I'm just starting to come up for air.

I'm back into teaching English: this time to freshmen in Dalian. The difficulty has been that there is only a general guideline as to what I and an American colleague are to teach - the bulk of the material is up to us to find and deliver as best we see fit. While that has some advantages, the downside is finding enough interesting educational material - especially as the students are looking to play games while learning. A lot of my time has gone into socialising with the students, including establishing an English Corner for them - they are always curious and interested in practising their English with me. However, it is a win:win situation in that they help me with Chinese matters, plus I enjoy being with them.

View from Uni dormitory

Light show in the distance

Having spent the first month in the teachers' quarters, situated in the same building as the school and the students' dormitories, I decided to move across the road into a new apartment in a new building (refer photos). Everything is new including all the furniture that I requested, yet it's slightly cheaper than my Fuzhou apartment. One noticeable difference between Fuzhou and Dalian is that the Fuzhou schools and apartments all have air-conditioners but no heating, while Dalian premises have ample heaters but no air conditioning. Clearly, the weather conditions are very different.

Everyone has been warning me to brace myself for a cold winter, but as of mid November, nearly every day has been sunny with a beautiful blue sky. However, the temperature does drop considerably overnight. I am looking forward to spending a Christmas in the snow!

The area where the school is situated is not particularly clean, but the nearby city, beach and ocean-view road are very attractive. There are even some trams here to remind me of home. There are four other Australian teachers here and one young American (in last photo). They are quite a sociable bunch and we have been to a number of dinners and outings. I am starting to build a new circle of friends, both Westerners and Chinese.

Photos around Xinghai Square

New circle of friends

The last dinner I attended, three of the male teachers each had a Chinese lady partner: none of whom could speak a word of English! The young American (who speaks some Chinese) has a girlfriend who is living with him, one elderly Australian communicates with his friend via a translation dictionary, and the other Australian seems to bring a different lady to every occasion and communicates via sign language!

I have to say that while I've been very busy with school work I am rather enjoying the experience in Dalian.

Until next time... Renzo